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By Alan Yusko

Choosing a life partner is a big task. Here I'll write some things that will aid a person from making the biggest mistake in their life. The days are evil and soon the Lord Jesus will return. It is very important to pick a Godly spouse should God lead you into marriage. One thing people have to realize is people act one way before marriage and another way after marriage.

Here is an example. There was a girl about to be married. She spent all her time with her husband-to-be. They even went to football games together. Rain or shine they would huddle together and watch the game. Did that continue after marriage? No it did not. I'm not saying they have a bad marriage but one thing for sure. If it was raining she had no time to go to a football game with her husband.

There can be other things that change after the marriage. Many wives begin to nag their husbands. These poor guys just cannot do anything right and their wives are the first to make that known. Do these ladies nag their boyfriends like this before marriage? No, they are usually on their best behaviour.

My point is that before marriage couples tend to treat each other differently than they do after the marriage. This is why it is very important to pick a partner based on Godly, Biblical standards. Here are some pointers:


1) Only marry a born-again Christian. This should be a no-brainer! However, I have heard many people disagree over the years. The Bible warns about an unequal yoke. It is a very dangerous thing. Here is what the Bible says:

2 Cor 6
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.
18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

For a Christian to marry a non-Christian is to create an unequal yoke marriage. This will result in great strains and troubles. The Christian loves and wants to please God and the non-Christian does not. Even something like Christian training of children may become an issue in this type of marriage. There is also a danger of the non-Christian partner growing hostile to Christianity over the years. As a person rejects the Gospel their heart grows a bit harder each time. There are those who become openly hostile to anything Christian or Bible related. Being married to such a person can be a great strain.

Let me make another point. Some people agree that they can only marry a Christian but then argue that it is acceptable to date a non-Christian. This is also very dangerous. There is no such thing as missionary dating. The danger is in getting too involved emotionally as a person missionary dates. Another danger is the person faking some kind of conversion... until after the marriage! Simply obey God and stay away from romantic relationships with non-Christians! In the long term you will be spared a multitude of heartbreaks!


2) The second piece of advise I want to give is to only marry a single person. Again, this should be a no-brainer, but in these last days it is not. Today people, including professing Christians, are divorcing and remarrying. We know of one lady who had divorced husband number three ... or was that number four? I lost count. But each time she had a 'church' wedding in her liberal church. The marriage lasted for awhile before going sour. But if you were to talk to this person she would sound like a professing Christian lady. When she hunts for her next husband she seeks them out in the church singles groups. What more can be said? Stay away from the divorced. Only marry a never-been-married single person or a person whose spouse has died.

Let me make a quick clarification about what I just said. I'm not saying a person cannot get divorced. There may be abusive situations (like a Christian marrying and abusive non-Christian) where divorce is called for. The issue is not divorce. Instead it is remarriage. Like it or not, once married the bond lasts until death-do-you part. It is a vow made before God and is not to be taken lightly. Here is what the Bible says:

Romans 7
1 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?
2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

I think the Bible is very clear. Marriage is dissolved at death. For a person to divorce and then remarry is to commit the sin of adultery. Look at the following verse.

Matt 5
31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Notice that the Bible does not forbid divorce. Those who get remarried again and again are very quick to point that out. I have to agree. There are conditions that merit a divorce. However, look at the rest of the verse. Verse 32 say very clearly that if a person marries a divorced person, they are committing adultery. The only time a married person can remarry is when their partner is dead. At that time the marriage bond is broken and the person is free to marry again.

So single person, when choosing a lifetime partner be careful. Avoid at all costs the divorced person. I've seen them! They have read all kinds of books and have justified in their own minds that everything is fine before God. However, the Word of God paints a different picture! Choose only a fellow born again Christian and only marry another single person!


3) The final piece of advise for single people is to get parental advise when marrying. I believe God gives parents supernatural wisdom and discernment for their children. Seek their advise as parents also want the best for their children. Parents have the ability to view the relationship in an unbiased and objective manner that the people involved cannot do. Parents also have a lifetime of experience to draw from which aids in judging the character of a person. It does not matter if your parents are Christian or not. They still have the ability to judge character and they want the best for their children. Seek out and listen to the advise of your parents!

Proverbs 1
8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:


Remember that marriage is very serious business. Be sure to marry only another born again Christian who loves the Lord Jesus. It is a big responsibility and a big decision. Part of that decision involves raising children as a Godly seed before the Lord. It is important to have the Lord in the center of your marriage. This can only be done by marrying a Bible believing, born-again Christian! Also remember that when you do get married it is a lifetime commitment. Marriage is not until divorce-do-you part but rather until death-do-you part!

Eccl 5
4 When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.
5 Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.

Hebrews 13
4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

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